What is the Fan Misery Index?

A single 0–100 number that answers how emotionally painful it is to be a team's fan right now. It blends losing record, payroll disappointment, fan cost at the ballpark, and a manual 'vibes' modifier.

How is the Fan Misery Index calculated?

Each team gets a raw score from four inputs: losing (weight 55), payroll disappointment (weight 30), fan cost at the park (weight 15), and a manual recent-vibes modifier. The final score is 25% absolute + 75% league-curve, so the worst fanbase pushes toward 100 while a universally tolerable league won't artificially force someone into 'Full Collapse'.

Live Suffering Index

Fan Misery Index

Q: What does a Fan Misery Index score of 0–20 mean?

Fan Bliss — winning a lot, paying reasonably. Smug.

Q: What does a Fan Misery Index score of 21–40 mean?

Mild Frustration — mediocre, but tolerable.

Q: What does a Fan Misery Index score of 41–60 mean?

Everyday Fan Pain — the group chat is quiet.

Q: What does a Fan Misery Index score of 61–80 mean?

Severe Misery — every loss feels personal.

Q: What does a Fan Misery Index score of 81–100 mean?

Full Collapse — hostage situation.

A single 0–100 number that answers one question: how emotionally painful is it to be this team's fan right now? Losing matters. Paying top dollar to lose matters more. Paying top dollar at the ballpark to watch it happen? That's the whole formula.

The Scale

0–20

Fan Bliss

Winning a lot, paying reasonably. Smug.

21–40

Mild Frustration

Mediocre, but tolerable.

41–60

Everyday Fan Pain

The group chat is quiet.

61–80

Severe Misery

Every loss feels personal.

81–100

Full Collapse

Hostage situation.

What Goes Into It

Weight 55

Losing

The heart of fan misery. Win % below .500 stacks up fast.

Weight 30

Payroll Disappointment

Expensive teams that aren't winning. A top-5 payroll under .500 = max pain.

Weight 15

Fan Cost at the Park

Ticket + beer + hot dog. Premium prices for bad baseball hurts twice.

Modifier

Recent Vibes

Manual nudge for losing streaks, bullpen meltdowns, and other emotional damage the box score misses.

Methodology

Each team gets a raw score from the four inputs above. Then we run two passes:

Absolute score — your raw misery on a 0–100 scale. A 75 here means it's genuinely bad, not just bad relative to the league.

League curve — we stretch the league so the worst fanbase lands near 100 and the happiest near 0. This makes sure someone is always the most miserable.

Final score is a blend: 25% absolute + 75% curve. The most miserable fanbase in baseball will push toward 100, while a universally tolerable league won't artificially force someone into "Full Collapse."

Full Rankings

All 30 teams, most miserable first

#	Team	FMI	Verdict	Why
1	NYM Mets New York	88	Full Emotional Collapse	41.2% baseball, premium prices, and a roster that costs more than it's worth. Full meltdown in New York.
2	ATH Athletics	79	why god why did I choose this team?	A 42.7% record and 14 games below .500. Every loss feels personal at this point.
3	BOS Red Sox Boston	71	why god why did I choose this team?	A 48.9% record and 2 games below .500. Every loss feels personal at this point.
4	SFG Giants San Francisco	62	Any good shows to watch instead?	Signed players that all of a sudden stopped being able to hit homeruns but at least fans in the nosebleeds get to look at the water, so it could always be worse.
5	BAL Orioles Baltimore	55	frustrating	5 games under .500 and a 47.4% record — the kind of season that turns the group chat quiet.
6	PIT Pirates Pittsburgh	52	frustrating	Run-of-the-mill suffering: 51.5% baseball, a payroll that hasn't earned it, and tickets that aren't getting cheaper.
7	TOR Blue Jays Toronto	50	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	6 games under .500 and a 46.9% record — the kind of season that turns the group chat quiet.
8	WAS Nationals Washington	50	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	1 games under .500 and a 49.5% record — the kind of season that turns the group chat quiet.
9	HOU Astros Houston	49	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	4 games under .500 and a 48% record — the kind of season that turns the group chat quiet.
10	KCR Royals Kansas City	49	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	21 games under .500 and a 39.2% record — the kind of season that turns the group chat quiet.
11	TEX Rangers Texas	48	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	Run-of-the-mill suffering: 51% baseball, a payroll that hasn't earned it, and tickets that aren't getting cheaper.
12	COL Rockies Colorado	48	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	20 games under .500 and a 39.8% record — the kind of season that turns the group chat quiet.
13	LAA Angels Los Angeles	48	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	21 games under .500 and a 39.2% record — the kind of season that turns the group chat quiet.
14	PHI Phillies Philadelphia	46	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	Run-of-the-mill suffering: 55.7% baseball, a payroll that hasn't earned it, and tickets that aren't getting cheaper.
15	CHC Cubs Chicago	43	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	Run-of-the-mill suffering: 56.3% baseball, a payroll that hasn't earned it, and tickets that aren't getting cheaper.
16	ARI Diamondbacks Arizona	43	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	Run-of-the-mill suffering: 51% baseball, a payroll that hasn't earned it, and tickets that aren't getting cheaper.
17	SEA Mariners Seattle	42	mediocrity sucks, time to tank?	1 games under .500 and a 49.5% record — the kind of season that turns the group chat quiet.
18	CIN Reds Cincinnati	40	eh its going alright	Cincinnati isn't a disaster — a 45.3% clip is mediocre, not heartbreak. Fans are annoyed, not broken.
19	SDP Padres San Diego	38	eh its going alright	having the best closer in the league quells many issues. Tatis getting at least one homer would be cool though.
20	DET Tigers Detroit	38	eh its going alright	Detroit isn't a disaster — a 45.8% clip is mediocre, not heartbreak. Fans are annoyed, not broken.
21	CLE Guardians Cleveland	35	eh its going alright	Cleveland isn't a disaster — a 52.6% clip is mediocre, not heartbreak. Fans are annoyed, not broken.
22	MIN Twins Minnesota	31	eh its going alright	Minnesota isn't a disaster — a 49.5% clip is mediocre, not heartbreak. Fans are annoyed, not broken.
23	CWS White Sox Chicago	30	so far so good	With Murakami, all things are possible, so jot that down.
24	TBR Rays Tampa Bay	28	so far so good	Tampa Bay isn't a disaster — a 59.6% clip is mediocre, not heartbreak. Fans are annoyed, not broken.
25	STL Cardinals St. Louis	27	so far so good	St. Louis isn't a disaster — a 52.6% clip is mediocre, not heartbreak. Fans are annoyed, not broken.
26	NYY Yankees New York	24	so far so good	New York isn't a disaster — a 56.3% clip is mediocre, not heartbreak. Fans are annoyed, not broken.
27	ATL Braves Atlanta	16	Nothing can stop us!!!	Hard to be miserable when the wins keep coming and the bill at the ballpark stays reasonable.
28	LAD Dodgers Los Angeles	15	Nothing can stop us!!!	who cares yall aren't winning every single game like you expected when you overpaid Tucker, there's still nothing to complain about. No one wants to hear it
29	MIA Marlins Miami	8	Nothing can stop us!!!	Hard to be miserable when the wins keep coming and the bill at the ballpark stays reasonable.
30	MIL Brewers Milwaukee	6	Nothing can stop us!!!	Milwaukee fans are living rent-free in everyone else's heads — a 61.5% win rate and barely a complaint to file.